Attack Of The Clones shouldn't suck. It really shouldn't. We have two storylines, one full of intrigue and detective work, the other passionate and building on the mythos, both set in exotic, well designed locales. This is the middle chapter of the trilogy, where the tension should be at its peak. And story-wise, I would say it is.
But all of this is brought crashing down by the sheer indomitable flatness of this movie. Now, I'm not referring to George Lucas's increasing dependence on greenscreen and dated CGI, although that certainly doesn't help. It's mainly the script itself, and George's lack of actor-specific direction, the latter of which I'll talk about further below. But for starters, the script is unusually godawful even for Lucas's notoriously pulpy sensibilities. We've all heard the jokes about Anakin and Padme's romance, but it really cannot be understated how dreadfully faux-Shakespearean they are. What Lucas was thinking with some of this dialogue, I will never know.
I can appreciate the planning that went into the film's story. The way Palpatine worms his way into a position of absolute power and develops the Clone Wars for his own advantage is ingenious. I also like the inclusion of Boba Fett's backstory, as well as the doubt cast on the Jedi's methods by various characters. Most of these(and of course the entirely unresolved Sifo-Dyas arc) would be picked up by the Clone Wars television series, which really did redeem the prequels in a way, and provide the missing link. I know George wanted to structure this story as another trilogy to fit with the originals, but the prequels are in my eyes, a four-act story, and the Clone Wars is a vital part of that. Without the TV show retroactively filling in blanks, Clones would be even weaker than it already is. But on the other hand, all the great stuff we did get in that show depends on this movie to exist. So it is what it is.
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Christopher Lee is always a win, and I believe that his Count Dooku is one of the best Star Wars characters(much like his friend Peter Cushing, who portrayed Grand Moff Tarkin in A New Hope). Most of this can be chalked up to Lee's natural charisma - Clones certainly doesn't give him all that much to work with, beyond his political alliance with the Separatists. In fact, I don't believe the film even really elaborates on what the Separatist faction is after beyond vague blackmail, making them more of a massive criminal organisation than anything else.
But Lee's Dooku, as an aristocratic, erudite former Jedi is such an interesting and layered personality that I was begging for more time to be spent on him. And given how much of a contrast he is to the rest of the film's quality, he just stands out even more. Lee is without a doubt the absolute highlight of the film.
I liked seeing Ewan McGregor's role as Obi-Wan evolve from the rather quiet Jedi Padawan he was in The Phantom Menace to the somewhat weary, cranky master dealing with an arrogant, though beloved student. That being said, I do feel like McGregor is at his least likable in the film. It's easy to say it's part of his journey, as Obi-Wan naturally had more to learn, but I think this didn't necessarily need to be at the expense of his charm as a character. To put it bluntly, Obi-Wan's basically a grouch here. His relationship with Anakin is stretched to the absolute max throughout the film, but not enough is done to show their genuine care, which is supposed to exist underneath their differences.
Hayden Christensen in this is just a beautiful trainwreck. Christensen of course isn't the strongest actor in the world, but he is just pummeled by the combination of Lucas' indifference to directing actors(he famously considers them tools who are meant to deliver a script in whatever way they please just so long as they get it done) and the dreadful writing. The result is a monotone, creepy Anakin who couldn't possibly appeal to anyone in any sort of believable world.
Natalie Portman, whilst dragged down considerably by the horrible romantic scenes, is mostly competent, though she has little meaningful to do outside of her relationship with Anakin. She shoots, can bark orders well enough. There's the sequence where she fights off a giant rat. Overall, she acquits herself fine enough.
Temuera Morrison was a fine choice for Jango Fett. He's gruff, but has a somewhat rugged look to him that suggests he's hiding something. I can easily imagine him underneath the armor, both as Jango and as Boba in the original trilogy. Not to mention, his vocal performance for the clones is equally good, managing to sound like the pitch-perfect soldier.
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Lucas has a knack for visuals, and the movie has many beautiful shots and is shot competently enough. The alien environments of Coruscant, Kamino, Tatooine and Geonosis are all distinct and fairly interesting in their own right. Unfortunately, the overuse of the greenscreens and CGI do detract considerably from the overall experience, and whilst the film is colourful, it also has this inescapably digital sheen to it. In this day and age, it is the worst-looking Star Wars film.
That being said, there is a lot to like in it still. The lightsabers, which always vary a little, don't look as stiff here as they did in The Phantom Menace, nor as they as irritatingly vibrant and live as in the sequel trilogy. It's kind of a sweet spot.
I think everyone loves the sound and effect of Jango Fett's seismic charges, and that whole asteroid sequence is exceptionally executed. Same goes for the Geonosis battle in the climax. In fact, the film as a whole is choreographed well, though sometimes it's crippled by editing errors, which were unfortunately numerous throughout the film, adding to the clunkiness of the overall production.
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I doubt it'll ever be anyone's favourite in the series. It was plodding, hard to sit through and ultimately not very memorable. It's frustrating, because Clones has such a good fundament for a great film, and a collection of excellent stars who could've brought that movie to life. But George Lucas just plain f*cked it up.
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